I keep rewriting the post I meant to have had up earlier this week, but I haven’t been able to get to the point yet. In the meantime, you’ll have to endure the second issue of Five Feet Short, and laugh. Doesn’t your life suck?
I don’t want a TV show that’s set in my home where people will mock me, mock my life, mock everything I believe in. I don’t want some publisher to tell me what to write. And I certainly do not want a TV channel to forbid me to write about political and religious views I may or may not have. If I God dammit mother Mary Christ Jesus David Cameron Loreal Chanel Dior and all of the Max Factors in the world want to mention a brand that’s not one of the TV channels sponsors I get sued … Hello, it’s my blog.
Yvonne Eijkenduijn, on her blog Yvestown, one of my longtime favorites, 10/24/12
- So much interior. Why do we need it? Why don’t we rent it to China or something?
Chat with Sarah, after seeing all of those red states on election night, 11/6/12
I’ve seen this ad on the subway countless times, but during the most recent moment that my eyes have had the delight of taking in its vogue design, I realized just how very hilarious it was. How, pray tell, is working as a medical assistant for ten stupid days AS REAL-WORLD AS IT GETS? You know what I think it’s as real world as? MTV’s The Real World. So if that’s what you meant, Monroe College, which I’m sure you did, then, good job. This dude is totally ready. (Click for larger image. And don’t forget to hover your mouse over the thumbnail for the alt text.)
Two thoughts, one long subway ride home. Not a minute after I stopped laughing at Monroe College did a man peddling candy proceed into my car. His elevator pitch was a little different than the “please help me stay off the streets” spiel I’m used to hearing, especially the part where he suggested to all of us that his candy will be “yummy in your tummy.” That’s when I came up with Michelle Obama’s (congrats, by the way) next obesity campaign. The text will read, “Yummy in your tummy? It’s only yummy in your mouth, ya dummy!” positioned over a photo of this kid, maybe? Remember, this is the family-friendly version. Otherwise, it would simply read, “You fat fuck!”